Saturday, October 1, 2011

The Bear Chase Trail Race 50K

Injury, should I run this or not. I don’t have anything to prove really, or do I???? I know I can go the distance but would it be smart. Am I so wrapped up in this running business that I can’t take a break when I need it? Listen to your body….blah blah blah. (I really hate it when people say that, can they hear themselves?) I spent way too much of my life disengaging from my body to hear any kind of messages it might be telling me. One day my leg felt good the next bad. Giving it all the TLC one could imagine. Including taking several days off running to see if I would benefit, which turned out to be the opposite of helpful.
Like a lot of races I approached this like a training run because every run is a training run for the next one right? Was the injury real or in my head? Now it’s moving like a hot potato. Was I trying to read more into what my coach told me about balance? My coach videotapes my gait and we look at it together. I’m not a fan of seeing myself running but it is helpful for the sake of correcting form problems. (If I can stop worrying about whether or not my bra is working) I over stride on my left side and this sets me up nicely for injury. I have been working on shortening my stride with a metronome that I bought a long time ago from a Chi running instructor, named Mary. It is making a difference but I just recently started using it. Cindy another coach in the area I went running with said if I could see my feet out in front of me I’m over striding. Turns out this proves to be good way of checking myself.
Friends came to town for the race. Misty and Brian are both avid runners and have blogs that apparently lots of people follow. They shared many great race stories with me and it was a perfect way to spend the night before a run. The next morning we get to the race and I see so many people I knew from a few various running groups. The sun came up just before the race started and I felt hopeful for a good day. I had a good night sleep the night before which doesn’t always happen for me but I guess the fact that I was approaching this in a more casual way helped. At 6:50 we started and I fell to the back in my usual fashion. At first I almost let myself get caught up the group pace and not my own race. This was not my plan. My plan was to do the first 6-mile loop in less than 2 hours and aim for 3.5 for the second loop. The trail and terrain were a little bit more technical than my first 50K, Greenland trail race, with more small climbs and three creek crossings times 2 but at a slightly lower altitude. Right away my leg was hurting. Not excruciating but enough to make me very aware. Before the race a friend of mine said, “ You are perfect, whole and complete, don’t make the race mean anything.” This was my mantra for the day except I tacked on the end of it “steady and strong.” I said it to myself over and over. I’m perfect whole complete steady and strong… occasionally I threw in the word fast J …Even though my leg hurt and I had a bit of a limp unless I slowed down considerably in order to have an even gait. This was not the kind of pain that felt like I was in danger of permanently damaging something. I kept giving myself the out if I needed it though. I was eating and relying off the aid stations and supplementing with gels. Once in a while I’d realize I was focusing too much on my leg and I would expand my focus take in the environment around me. It was hot. I have no idea how hot but most people I came in contact with mentioned it. This race felt different from the first 50K I ran. Even though I was in pain I felt much stronger. I have been making small changes to my diet. Nothing too drastic, more veggies, less processed, more “nutrient rich” foods. (With the exception of race day and maybe the day after) My body felt more fluid and relaxed. I really did feel a source of energy I’d never felt before. Most everyone on the course was faster than me but I felt determined. I finished the first 6-mile loop 30 minutes faster than I planned. Not the burnout faster you hear the really fast runners talk about but a comfortable fast. Moving in and out of hyper focus on my leg but fully present for the experience. This is not typical for me as my brain is sometimes waiting for me at the finish line. Those that know me well know I don’t think in a straight line ever but running settles it a bit. As the day grew on the temperatures increased but I felt resistant to the heat. I attend sweat lodges and although it is a spiritual practice for me, it is also a physical experience that I think helps me tolerate heat. I get to Mt Carbon and focus on a very small area in front of me. Moving my feet as fast as I can up the mountain. Before I knew it I was at the top. I look back at the ground I have covered because it amazes me and often I surprise myself. My thoughts shifted from my form and movement to a small area of space around me, to an even bigger expansive space out in the world and then back in, then to the pain. I remembered my Native American friend, Ray, say on a run that I can ask the mountain for strength, so I did. Then I would feel a very faint breeze and immediately cool off so I thanked the wind. I knew my friend was having a sweat lodge that day to prepare for someone’s Hanblechia. I have often wondered what that would be like. I know may people who have done it but I just don’t think I could go that long without food or water. Typically its four days. Heck I don’t even go in a 3 mile run without water. In a way though I feel like long distance running is similar to a vision quest. You become pretty self aware while you out there. You face things about yourself and then you find your resolve. You learn your strengths, you forgive yourself, and you forgive other’s. You experience heartfelt gratitude for the earth, wind and the cold water in the creeks. You also feel gratitude for the people, the aid stations, and the kids who fill up your water and put an ice cube in your coke. Yes, this was my vision quest complete with gels, soda and tiny squares of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Then I saw Marshall and he passed me but not without saying,” Party On Jennifer!” Once I made the second loop I had one more 12.5-mile loop to go. I even felt like I could have been more consistent with the last loop had my leg not been hurting. So I negotiate with myself for a while “I was on track and at that point I could use the time and just finish comfortably.” As I arrived at one of the aid stations I saw Jamie Donaldson, I didn’t say anything, which is out of character for me. Usually I introduce myself to people I admire but when I’m running I don’t like to talk much (I know). There were two more climbs left, not steep but at this point anything could potentially take me out, and I recalled my friend Dana’s email telling me to imagine him gently nudging me when I got tired. It made me smile. I thought of all the people I run with and all the people I saw throughout the day that I knew and all the people like Maria who wished me well before the race. I looked at my watch and thought I could get a sub 9 (don’t laugh) if I push. Even though I finished my first 5oK in 7:50 I was grateful to finish this one at all. I always like to finish strong, my friend Spunky taught me that. All the people, the experiences, training runs and races flood my mind. I fall deeply madly and frequently in love with running. The strength I get from the encouragement of others is so far beyond joyful that I feel ridiculous even trying to explain. I’m so filled with gratitude that I have the opportunity to run. I finished!!!! Katie snapped a picture. My friend Pam who has run 164 marathons gave me soup; Donna walked me to the med tent because I wanted to ice my leg. Heather Ulrich gave me a hug and then I saw Manthey, the race director, he gave me a high five and then a hug. As much as I tried not to make this race it mean anything it did. I have had such a rough couple of previous races, including one where I got lost, that I really wanted a success. I wore my medal to work where no one saw it all day while I was sitting at my microscope in my cubical. The next day though I was in a meeting and people started reporting to me about their weekends and the bike rides, hikes and walks they went on. To me this was much bigger than the medal and trust me the medal was big. To me this was sacred. Me, the South Davis Jr. High kid who could not run a single lap around the baseball field without being completely out of breath. Me, the one who wanted so badly to be on the track team in high school but did not have the confidence to even try. Me. the one who never quite fit in anywhere. Me……….Perfect, whole, complete, strong, steady and yes…sometimes fast!!!

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